Spring break update
Great news! The journal accepted my first author paper! We only had minor revisions to make and now all the formal paper work about images and copyright are finished too! I'm so excited to finally be publishing!
For break, I took a few days off to visit E's parents and we enjoyed some great brew pubs and wineries. Plus there was a wine, cheese and pear tasting that only cost $5 and we got to keep the rather nice wine glass. Although his parents are always nice to me I never really feel at home. I suppose that is just due to different family styles? Our wedding is fast approaching and their attitude is to be involved as little as possible. His Mom asked, "So as the mother of the groom, I should wear beige, show up and shut up?" I know she was sort of kidding but that isn't me. I'm not a bridezilla and though I don't need an overbearing in-law an interested one would do just fine. Not even for me but for E. I never got the sense that they were like, E we are excited for you and happy for you and will be happy to celebrate with you. I understand they don't want to step on toes, and they are being very traditional. No $ = no suggestions? But I brought the invites for input and she didn't seem too interested. Although she did ask about something things, it mostly pertained to how it would effect E's sister who is in our wedding. I just try to be myself when we visit them, I should be growing on them, E and I have been dating over 7 years! I did give his Mom my first hug goodbye this time so that is progress.
My family is just so different. My parents are thrilled and I know they have told E and I how excited they are for us. They brought out champaigne after our engagement to toast us and have always been warm and welcoming to E. Maybe too much so, he sometimes might feel a bit smothered by all the family closeness...
I guess that is what happens when you begin melding together.
Speaking of almost in-laws what do you call yours? By their name or Mom/Dad? My parents called my grandparents mom and dad but I will probably call mine by their names.
For break, I took a few days off to visit E's parents and we enjoyed some great brew pubs and wineries. Plus there was a wine, cheese and pear tasting that only cost $5 and we got to keep the rather nice wine glass. Although his parents are always nice to me I never really feel at home. I suppose that is just due to different family styles? Our wedding is fast approaching and their attitude is to be involved as little as possible. His Mom asked, "So as the mother of the groom, I should wear beige, show up and shut up?" I know she was sort of kidding but that isn't me. I'm not a bridezilla and though I don't need an overbearing in-law an interested one would do just fine. Not even for me but for E. I never got the sense that they were like, E we are excited for you and happy for you and will be happy to celebrate with you. I understand they don't want to step on toes, and they are being very traditional. No $ = no suggestions? But I brought the invites for input and she didn't seem too interested. Although she did ask about something things, it mostly pertained to how it would effect E's sister who is in our wedding. I just try to be myself when we visit them, I should be growing on them, E and I have been dating over 7 years! I did give his Mom my first hug goodbye this time so that is progress.
My family is just so different. My parents are thrilled and I know they have told E and I how excited they are for us. They brought out champaigne after our engagement to toast us and have always been warm and welcoming to E. Maybe too much so, he sometimes might feel a bit smothered by all the family closeness...
I guess that is what happens when you begin melding together.
Speaking of almost in-laws what do you call yours? By their name or Mom/Dad? My parents called my grandparents mom and dad but I will probably call mine by their names.
Labels: family, future in-laws
posted by B @ Monday, March 19, 2007
7 Comments:
At 2:24 PM,
PG said…
What does E say about his parents? It seems like it's just their style, which in the long run, makes life easier.
I generally tend to avoid referring to my in-laws by anything. If it comes down to it, I'll use their first names. But I was raised to say "Mr" or "Mrs/Ms", so it's a bit awkward to me. When my mother-in-law leaves a message on our answering machine she'll say hi to both of us and say that it's "mom". But they write their names on any cards that are given to me. I can't imagine myself ever calling them mom/dad.
At 3:36 PM,
Anonymous said…
I call mine by their first names because they insisted instead of being Mr. and Mrs.
When I refer to them I used to say "future MIL" but now I've dropped the "future" part and just call her my MIL. People figure it out.
At 8:47 PM,
Field Notes said…
Congrats on your paper!!
I call my in-laws "mommy" b/c that's what my husband calls her. It was weird at first b/c I don't think anyone over 5 should use that term... but it grew on me and she likes it, so it all works. I call his dad by his name, but when he's not around I call him 'daddy' which is what his kid calls him. Every once in a while I have to inhibit the habit when we are around him. He might not mind, but it would be too weird!
At 5:37 AM,
Steph said…
That's so great about the journal, B! I'm so happy for you!
As for in laws, right now, I call them Pat and Al. I'm thinking of calling them Mom and Dad, too. When we visited them last I called Pat my "bonus mom" and she seemed delighted. :)
At 5:37 AM,
Steph said…
But frankly, I can't imagine calling E's 'rents Mom and Dad... I'd stick with their first names unless they tell you any different :)
At 2:22 PM,
B said…
thanks for all the comments! I call them by their names now, so maybe I will stick w/ that unless otherwise instructed!
At 6:41 AM,
Psycgirl said…
I refuse to call other people's parents Mom and Dad, and it took me forever, but I use their first names for my in-laws. My in-laws were also exceedingly disinterested in wedding stuff. I think its a boy thing - I'm sure she'll be much more interested when its her daughter getting married! My husband convinced me that if he wasn't upset by their lack of interest, I shouldn't be either, and it was good advice.
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