Wine and Cheese

Last night my friend threw a small get together w/ lost of great cheeses and everybody brought different wines. It was a lot of fun to just relax and hand out and sample the wines and cheeses. Yum! I think it was a much needed stress reliever for quite a few of us female grad students. Everyone seemed to have a really wonderful time. I enjoy it when a group of people can just all be themselves and have fun.

feeling strange

Today a woman I know died. I don't really know how old she was maybe 50 something or 60ish? I knew she had some health issues but I did not know they were that serious. I wasn't really close to her or anything, but she works in my building. It will be wierd to go to her shared office and not see her anymore.

I am incredibly tired tonight, and want to leave my lab. But, since I found out yesterday that my PI will not allow me to put any of the data from the last 9 brain areas I collected in an abstract for a poster, I think I need to stay. Why was it a priority for me to finish the f***ing cerebellum if I can't use them for a poster? The deadline is fast approaching. I could have spent my time on the forebrain gathering data for my poster, and then after abstract submissions, finish the cerebellum. Crimeny! At the same time I was told the other project that I've been overseeing the undergrads, with is taking too much time. UM- how do you want the work to get done if I don't show them how to do it? This isn't baking a cake, you have to interact with them and watch them, to be sure that things go right. Otherwise you end up re-running things, which wastes even more time. Arg! I really like my PI, but our meetings are rarely that productive. I get my stuff done when I need to and still end up waiting for her to fulfill her end of the bargain. For example, she wanted me to finish the cerebellum, I did, she has still not done something she said she would do, that she told me about in Nov. I know she has a lot on her plate, but we (the two grad students) run her entire lab, she is NEVER here. It is in her best interest to help us too, she needs tenure.

sigh, at least I'm alive! My calves are in extreme pain today though as my PT had me do too many exercises yesterday utilizing them. Between them and my knee I'm back to walking all goofy again. oh well- tommorrow will be better!

sweet mom :)

My mom is so sweet sometimes. She sent me a little get well box w/ scissors that cut a wavy pattern and a swirly pattern plus a little book with cute ideas of how to use them. She said she knew I like to scrapbook. Awww! Thanks! That really made my day and brightened my spirit. My mom is good at knowing when to send a little cheer :)
I am thankful to have such a great support system of family.

Spring

I am really glad it is spring here. The weather is nice today, sunny and beautiful. My allergies are really kicking up though, worse than normal. I picked up some claritin today though and got 10 extra tablets in my box! I really hope it kicks in soon, the top of my mouth gets really itchy, a very strange sensation.

Well I need to get busy, data is needed for an abstract very soon.

Friend or A-hole?

So I have a friend who is in the same program as me and a year ahead of me. He knew I was applying for a summer fellowship so that I would not have to teach in the summer. I have taught every summer and TAed multiple semesters. He has TAed twice and never taught in the summer. He also knows that my lab has only two graduate students, low funding and no post docs/ lab techs and this summer my lab mate will be in a foreign for one month. Leaving me on my own to run all the large animals and keep the small animals running as well. His PI has funding and was planning on funding him for the summer. Yet he applied for the same fellowship as me. He got it even though he didn't need it as he would not of had to teach anyway. I did not. Thus during the month my lab mate is gone I get to teach too. I am so pissed! Why did he get the funding and not me? The thing that hurts the worst is he knew I really needed a break this summer from teaching so I could focus on research, yet he applied anyway. He gets extra money that he didn't even NEED! Plus his PI pays his tuition, although the rest of us all pay our own tuition. Why do I have to do more to get less? Would you do this to a friend? I would not apply for funding if I did not need it as, I know there is a large pool of underfunded students and I would not want to take their $ if I didn't need it.

GGRRRRRRRR!!


Good news, is I'm off my crutches. Yay! And my PT says I have already improved straightening my leg by about 4 degrees, and bent by about 10. sweet! It still hurts w/ every step, but each step is easier so it is really working. Go knee!

Yay no surgery!

I have a partial tear of my medial collateral ligament (MCL) and so it should heal it self with time and some rehab. I start the rehab next week so that is good news. I stay on crutches until I don't limp and then just work on strengthening my leg and range of motion. Not so bad, I hope it is all healed up by June.

No fellowship

I am super bummed. I did not get the summer fellowship so alas I will be teaching an 8 week course 5 days a week, again. I hope I get a good co-teacher to work with :) Last summer I ended up with this crazy chick who was absent a lot, late a ton and made unkept promises to the students "I will bring in notes, or review sheets." Ha ha ha right!

well at least the weather is warm today and I get my MRI today yay!
I just don't understand the criteria for these summer stipend thingys. My research collection time, and data analysis time takes a huge investment and is much more demanding then giving an interview or mailing out surveys! We have to do all the work a student does in any other area of study plus spend hours, and hours, and hours training our animals and the assessing all their tissue. How come I don't deserve this summer to work on all of that with having to teach for once?
GGGGRRRRRR graduate college YOU SUCK!

I wrote the above this AM, so this is an update.
ok well that is that. I am not going to dwell on that, it just makes me angry. So instead I will focus on getting what I can get done for now. I had the MRI and wow it is noisy. Even with ear plugs in, it just chugs and vibrates and beeps and whirls around and around. It only lasted 30 minutes, and you don't have to do anything so that is nice. I swear it sounded almost like rythmic music after awhile with a sort of loud thumping on top. They even had the ceiling decorated so I could stare at something. It is strange position though, most of my body was shoved in the tube and you can't move so when you hear things behind you, you can't check it out, you just wait. I was given no directions by the tech but he said I did a good job so that sounded good. :)
Tommorrow I meet with a doctor to find out what it means. I hope it is good news, ie. no surgery!

Behind already?

I thought this week was going to be very productive but now it seems I'm already behind and it is only Tuesday. Last night instead of working late I caught an early dinner w/ Eman and as he left for his night class I headed out, to get in line to see a "big" name speaker, one that has influenced a variety of fields, and was invited on the behalf of about 7 different departments/ offices etc. The line was already 3 blocks long so I hobbled in and waited on my crutches for about 45 minutes until they allowed seating to begin. I was lucky enough to get one of the last seats in the back row before everyone else was forced into the balcony. They closed the doors after I had only been there about 5 minutes so I guess I was lucky to get in at all. The speaker's topic was human rights and most of his talk ended up being rather depressing. He was pointing out the USAs lousy track record on a variety of issues. It mostly just really saddened me. And he did not offer any real solutions. Rather he said things like, "Our political system is broken, or set up incorrectly."(only in a much more elegant fashion but you know what I mean) Meaning the two party system that did not cater to what voters actually wanted, among other things. How do you go about realistically changing this? I guess at the end he had some good points, but I was really wondering why does he get a standing ovation for speaking? How has he helped to change these things he kept pointing out to us? Has he outlined a way to do it anywhere? I don't know, maybe he has, so I need to do some research first to see. I am just wondering when you are a 'big' name, is it enough to raise the issue?, is speaking about a problem enough to get a huge pat on the back and large public recognition, when should they have to offer solutions?

hm well I'll have to ponder that one- but I have to go polish up a presentation. I am guest lecturing for an acquantance who has a highly contagious disease and can not leaver her house. Why did I agree to teach a 2 1/2 hour lecture with one days notice?
aye aye aye if I was mean I would have said no.
but who wants to be mean?

crutches and the evil parking ramp

Yesterday afternoon I left and crutched my way to the parking ramp. Only to find that when I arrived the elevator was out of order. Curse my 4th floor parking! I did climb all of the stairs and it actually took me less time then I thought, but it was not what I wanted to find when I was already tired. My body was so sore (chest, arms, underarm bruising, hands etc.) from the crutches that getting into bed was actually quite painful. I was doing good pulling my body around pre-crutch, but now w/ the arms and torso being so sore it was relatively a challenge. Thankfully sleep helped and today I'm doing much better.

Yay, I only have 6 more animals to take ROIs from to finish the cerebellum! Who knew that it had so many damn subregions!? I will have taken readings from 18 different regions in the cerebellum. Now, if I never see another cerebellum that would be fine with me! I am hoping to get a paper out on just this while I forge on and do the major forebrain areas. I cringe at the thought of doing 18+ forebrain structures. I refuse to think about that actually, just focus on the major limbic structures for now and then deal with the other stuff later! I better get back to work now though, I have 100+papers to grade and I need to plan for next weeks sections too.

the knee

I've been hobbling around quite a bit and my knee was getting more painful so I went back to the doctor. This time I managed to get into the family practice instead of student health yay! (the student health doc said, "Oh it is probably just a sprain and don't worry, walk if you can) This doctor took an X-ray and suggested that I get an MRI. He thinks I might have tore my meniscus and that I should keep the weight off the joint by using crutches. I picked up a pair this morning and I am a bit rusty on them. It doesn't help that it is raining here so I am trying to avoid puddles at the same time. My underarms are already getting sore though, as I made it to two classes and now I'm back at the lab. I am not moving again until I have to leave for the night!

AHHHHH! I am such a bad TA. I can not believe that I forgot about my 4:30 section today. I was just feeling off all day, and then I finally was working on my ROIs and then wham I looked at the clock- 4:45! Yikes I was so very, very late. I hate being late especially when I have kids showing up to see me. eeek! I got my lab mate to run down to the room as the crutches take me a while. He said everyone had left, but that they handed in their papers. I emailed everyone in my section, and today was going to be a short day anyway as they just finished their exam, but I feel so horrible about it. And tommorrow I have to go talk the prof that runs the class. I am usually very parnoid about this happening so that I get there early every week. I just feel so crappy now. I hope they all don't hate me.