feeling panicked

I had a moment of panic today twice! The first one was at the bank. I went to change my address. That when ok, then as she was filling out the form I realized she had a weird phone number. I said wait that isn't my number. That is really old. Then she said what is yours? I totally blanked. I forgot my own number and for some reason, random numbers just came out of my mouth. I know that is totally stupid but there I was with 7 random number spilling out. I have no idea where they came from. Then I felt like an idiot. I couldn't very well say um that is wrong too so I left it. If they haven't had the right number for years why should it matter now? I did give them my cell phone which was correct. Amy I going crazy?

Then later this morning I was trying to work on my Introduction chapter and had another panic feeling. It ended up lasting most of the day. I've been fluctuating between feeling really nauseous and just all panicky. I was reading an article and went crap, crap, crap. I should include background on this, even though it could be seen as a semantic tangent to the main thing I'm supposed to be writing about. How do I include it all in a succinct manner while still getting to the next point? Then I realized I have so little intro written and I defend in less than two months. So I need to be done writing in about a month. I still need to fix my other chapters. I still need to collect data 5 days a week. aaaaahhhhh! I'm leaving at the end of August to visit a friend and to celebrate my sister's PhD! So that means I have less than a month to write up all this. I'm worried it will be disorganized or not take my 'readers' (aka) the committee to the right place. I'm worried it will be crappy and they will say you are an imbecile and not allowed to do this for your dissertation. I'm worried I'll mess up the meeting. I'm just freaked out. I called my sister that recently defended and she helped calm me down some. I downloaded a bunch more papers and sketched out an outline of things I need to include in my intro. I need to work on it this weekend so that I'm not immobilized by fear. Write, even if it is crappy at least it is there and that means I can fix it.