cranky week
I'm feeling a mix of emotions lately so forgive me if this post is somewhat rambling. Several things have been stewing and making me think, which has been making me miserable (even though today I feel quite good), guilty and cranky. I may also be PMSing though so that isn't helping.
1) A friend who took a year off of school came back starting again this fall. I'm happy for her and glad she is back but it made me think, she took off a whole year and doesn't seem to be too far behind, what did I even do this last year? I've been feeling very inadequate lately so that didn't help.
2) My labmate is getting an awesome publication as first author. While I'm happy he gets a pub I'm annoyed that he didn't do any of the animal surgery's, only some of the running, some of the assessment and I'm fairly certain his writing was re-vamped extensively by my PI. Why does it seem people who do less and cut corners get rewarded in science? ugh. He gets handed a gem of a project and will look stunning. I work my but off and get bupkiss. I'm really tired of cleaning up after him, and getting after him to do things he is supposed to do in the lab. I could quit all that, but then if something is out of place I will get reprimanded or it could effect me later on (stuff I need isn't there, is dirty etc), or the lab could get in trouble for being out of order. I have tried asking nice, leaving notes, explaining, talking to my PI (who says I don't know what to do with him either) etc. It just gets exhausting and I turn into turbo bitch because yelling is the only thing that appears to work. Why do I have to be the responsible one all the time? I don't get anything for it except more work. blah.
3) I'm finally wrapping up my paper (I think anyway) we are having another faculty member read the "final" draft for further scrutiny. But I was really grouchy this week and am a little embarrassed w/ my "attitude" that I presented.
4) I had a head cold all week and possibly a fever.
Good news is after getting this out I feel better. I'm going to get some data analysis done and then watch some college football.
1) A friend who took a year off of school came back starting again this fall. I'm happy for her and glad she is back but it made me think, she took off a whole year and doesn't seem to be too far behind, what did I even do this last year? I've been feeling very inadequate lately so that didn't help.
2) My labmate is getting an awesome publication as first author. While I'm happy he gets a pub I'm annoyed that he didn't do any of the animal surgery's, only some of the running, some of the assessment and I'm fairly certain his writing was re-vamped extensively by my PI. Why does it seem people who do less and cut corners get rewarded in science? ugh. He gets handed a gem of a project and will look stunning. I work my but off and get bupkiss. I'm really tired of cleaning up after him, and getting after him to do things he is supposed to do in the lab. I could quit all that, but then if something is out of place I will get reprimanded or it could effect me later on (stuff I need isn't there, is dirty etc), or the lab could get in trouble for being out of order. I have tried asking nice, leaving notes, explaining, talking to my PI (who says I don't know what to do with him either) etc. It just gets exhausting and I turn into turbo bitch because yelling is the only thing that appears to work. Why do I have to be the responsible one all the time? I don't get anything for it except more work. blah.
3) I'm finally wrapping up my paper (I think anyway) we are having another faculty member read the "final" draft for further scrutiny. But I was really grouchy this week and am a little embarrassed w/ my "attitude" that I presented.
4) I had a head cold all week and possibly a fever.
Good news is after getting this out I feel better. I'm going to get some data analysis done and then watch some college football.
posted by B @ Saturday, September 08, 2007
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