visiting the in laws

So last week we went to see E's parents. They live several states away and we only see them once or twice a year. I enjoy my visits there and usually get to read a book or two. They were extra nice this year because they allowed my sister to come stay (with her boyfriend) for two nights. This way they could see me and all of us got to attend a Brewfest together. We also visited several wineries, an aquarium, some good pubs and they made us delicious grilled dinners. All in all it was a great trip and I'm lucky to have them.

I noticed that my father-in-law (FIL) is the ultimate planner, as everyday has a particular plan and order. E is much the same way and asks me every weekend "What's the plan?" now I know where he gets it. My FIL has a good sense of humor but he and my MIL are much more formal than me. For example I don't think I've ever seen my MIL leave the house w/ out a full face on, I regularly wear zero makeup. One day the coffee pot was still in the dishwasher so they made us coffee with a french press. Very nice, and sweet of them, but it's a coffee pot can't you just rinse it out and re-use it? (they dishwasher it everyday, is it weird that I don't do that?)
Also, they are very strict about us being guests, so we shouldn't help w/ dishes, or cleaning. This always makes me feel weird. I'm not used to people doing stuff like that for me and I'm happy to help make dinner/ load the dishwasher etc. My FIL is always making comments like I can't believe you got in my kitchen and did my job! (she cooks/ he cleans up) This leaves me feeling awkward. I feel worse just sitting around watching them do everything.