Mixed feelings

One of undergrads is joining our lab in the Fall as a grad-student. While we get along I'm concerned because much of the time he listens, but doesn't really "listen." Which means I have to re-explain or double check him a lot. This lands on my shoulders because the other grad-student whose is my year doesn't care and won't do it. I wouldn't have to care except that a lot of our stuff overlaps (or will in the future) and I don't want things messed up.

Number two is he is incredibly naive. Yes, I was naive when I came to school too, who isn't in some way? But he is extremely so, in many ways. He doesn't realize how his lab life will change once he is a grad-student (right now he has very little responsibility); how expectations of faculty including our PI will change, how to interact w/ fellow scientists/ speakers; (I just witnessed this at talk he came to two weeks ago), etc.

Number three I feel jealous. I know I shouldn't be but he is coming in w/ so many advantages I didn't have. I guess that is what happens when you (and my labmate) are the very first two students to make it this far w/ this PI. We have done everything together, finish our first projects, passed comps etc. Struggling our way through. Sometimes w/ very little guidance from our PI. Then this new guy automatically gets stuff. He is teaching a course this summer for the department, it is the same one I taught the last three years so I offered him use of my powerpoint slides etc. Of course no one did that for me, but I'm not irrational. Why make him do it all on his own, if I have stuff? I know that is my own fault but it isn't my sharing that bugs me, I would do that for anyone teaching that class, it is that I don't even think he will realize how much time I'm saving him.

Also, I just submitted my abstract for SfN and my PI asked to add his name as an author. I said NO. Maybe that makes me mean, but again I didn't have anything like that when I came in. Everything my name is on I worked on. He didn't help w/ the idea, run the animals, analyze the data, or do ANYTHING. Why should I add his name? So he can have poster authorship for his CV? At the end of the day we will be competing for the same stuff. I had to work tooth and nail for everything I have. Figuring out a lot on my own along they way. I don' t want to be petty but I also don't want to just hand this guy authorship, even if it is for a stupid poster. Eventually it will be a paper, and I did that work, most of if on my own when my labmate was in Hong Kong and I had to run the whole stupid lab by myself. There are only three authors, me, my labmate and the PI. I don't want to share credit. I did this work, I want credit. I have never been this way before, usually I'm happy to share, but this feels different somehow. Am I being unreasonable? My labmate said yes, so his name is on that poster (of course my name is too because I work on that project too, but since I wasn't first author I didn't care as much).

Anyway I'm trying to work through this. It isn't his fault and I know that he will get benefits simply because he is now following two senior students, something I never had. But, at the end of the day will he look "better, meaning more productive" because of our help? Will I look like less because he has more when starting out than I did? Blah I know we are all in the same small lab together so we should support each other. I want us all to succeed. I just don't want people to think he is so fabulous when he is just ok. Ew that sounded mean, but it is true.